It's named therefore it is.

Quick reflection about medicine, but really culture in general.

Everything is named. Everything has at least 1 or 2 names. They are generally descriptive and useful and have emerged from a need to identify that particular something. The names may depend on the stage of development (for example an embryo becomes a fetus…not because there was some sudden change…but because we’ve devised a subjective marker to distinguish the two). Similarly 2 membranes may look the same but do different things and thus they are separately named.

There is soooooo much vocabulary distinguishing everything from different types of bleeding to different types of stool.

Wouldn’t it be cool if we refined our language about less “tangible” stuff? ( Note to naturally inclined editors: I realize I ironically use “stuff” a not so precise word. It only seemed to underscore my point…thus I leave it in).

Debates on definitions etc. seem to get in the way of so much progress. Like how do you define “the poor.” The definition would certainly alter your approaches and methods employed in solving whatever the related problem might be…or targeting your project. So how do we get passed these definition wars and generate a common discourse…that everyone can understand and be a part of, that leads to solutions for problems and results in even greater unity?

I think the only answer is talk more about what it is your trying to solve. Talk talk talk talk talk for a while, as exhausting and tedious and unfruitful as it seems….and gradually come to an understanding with others so that you can effectively work. But no! action must be incorporated in there somehow to ensure that the talking is grounded in reality and isn’t just a theoretical romp through the meadow of social justice.

BLEH! I find myself in that meadow now. I better just go memorize some more names of vessels.

Schedules and grades and that sort of thing.

What is the day in the life of a medical student?

Well funny you should ask, because I’m still figuring it all out.
Specifically:
The way our schedule is organized is this…Gross Anatomy, Imaging and Embryology lecture in the mornings from 8-10am, followed by Anatomy lab from 10am-12 or later depending on the dissection, then there are often noon-time lectures or interest group meetings or something. Most of the afternoons we have free except for on Wednesday when we have a Principles of Medicine Course for 4 hours (a combination of lecture and discussion and mock clinical practice). Also part of this course is a preceptorship the hours of which are variable but generally equate to at least 3 or 4 hours a week.

Not so specific:
Growing up in an educational system where I never really had to study consistently, because the exam was deemed the end all measure of learning and intelligence, and I always did well on exams without having to study much……I’m trying to transition into a lifestyle of constant learning and intense study in order to master information that I can use to help people. Now why can’t I instead be disciplined enough to look over my notes everyday after class when I desire so much to do something useful for people and that is the direct result of learning this stuff, I have yet to figure out. However I’m getting better at buckling down. This is really hard though. And I feel guilty every time I reflect on what the result of my laziness could be. My conclusion is a lack of maturity on my part, which I’m definitely working through…Meanwhile, however, I am sort of embarrassed by my imperfection. Any encouragement that might motivate me or inform my understanding of the magnitude of this endeavor and thus motivate me will no doubt be useful in the future, my dear friends and family and random but kindly peoples on the internet.

Also interesting is that even though I’ve recognized the standard is learning for purposes of service to patients, I still suffer the pre-exam anxiety and the pre-results panic. This doctrine that grades are a reflection of self-worth is so ingrained even though it makes no sense. How can a single, instantaneous frame capture a person’s intelligence or gifts….(it’s as silly as claiming to know where an electron is exactly in an electron cloud).

How then will I measure my learning and progress? (suggestions accepted).

I know I need to be (1) striving for excellence and thereby (2) progressing, moving forward so that I (3) meet some of the needs of people around me.

But what specifically can I use to gauge my progress? (suggestions particularly accepted to answer this!)

My funny mind

I was making Pulla – Finnish sweet bread….rolling out segments to be recombined into a lovely golden braid. As I was rolling and stretching those segments I saw in my bread the shape of long bones---narrow at the shaft and thicker at the ends. I giggled to myself and kept rolling.

After that nap I mentioned I also noticed that my thumb was a little numb. I thought I had just fallen asleep on it funny as happens when you sleep in positions creatively weaving your limbs among books and pencils on a loveseat sofa. As night began to fall and my thumb remained “asleep” I grew worried. I recalled strongly emphasized cautions about dissecting scalpels, and suddenly realized I had somehow cut a nerve. I searched for a cut mark in vain. Then I thought maybe it was some aluminum containing molecule (OHSU gave us these aluminum water bottles…my mother taught me always be wary of aluminum and yet I sipped) acting like a neurotoxin and this numbness was the first symptom of system shut down. I consulted my roommate who identified my silliness thus quelling my outward concern if not my inward terrors. Shortly thereafter I realized it was probably all of that blunt dissection with those scissors. It takes quite a bit of force, and 3 hours of using scissors is hard on a little ole thumb. One would think hypochondria would be inversely proportional to knowledge gained. I have a feeling the relationship isn’t quite so simple. Or perhaps…knowledge gained should be qualified in some way. Anyway…in the end I’m totally ok.

Anatomy Lab----First Impressions

Initially I was concerned about working with a cadaver. No surprise there I guess….but my hesitations weren’t out of disgust for globular fat and gooey messes; I was worried that in the middle of class my mind and heart and imagination would be overwhelmed by thoughts about this person’s life, about life in general, about death and separation, and I would begin to weep, effected by both the beauty and the melancholy. Or, I feared, that I wouldn’t approach this person’s body with enough humility and sense of sacredness, that I would neglect to fully appreciate the sacrifice, lost perhaps in the stench of formaldehyde and the stress of learning what was expected of me. What I found was much simpler. I took a moment to observe this body before we began lab for the first time, but then easily became engaged in the technical work to be performed, finding borders and separating muscle from fascia and bone. It wasn’t difficult to maintain respectfulness either. The human body is so extraordinary that it inspires wonder even when it no longer functions , even when you are cutting and peeling and digging into it. The day we dissected the spinal cord for example we were required to be a little more rough; using saws, chisels and hammers to take off the posterior half of the vertebral column. We were not gentle; we couldn’t have been. But the moment the hunk of vertebrae was lifted off to reveal the tender-looking meninges (which surround the spinal cord) beneath, our whole group in unison actually gasped a little and “Wow”ed at this tender little marvel! The nervous system seems particularly awe-inspiring, because even though digestion is certainly necessary for human existence, the ability to sense things, integrate those concepts, and respond seems a much more intimate process....Really, placing value on these systems is flawed for a few reasons 1) although they have their own function and structural particulars, they are themselves connected and 2) I have no experience being without digestion or a perception/response system.

Back to the topic of lab.

When I went home after the first day I took a cat nap and I thought of this experience as I was falling asleep…it just sort of popped into my head randomly as happens when you are losing control of your thoughts to dreams. 30 minutes later I woke up fresh not disturbed but reminded…so I said a brief prayer for her happiness in the next life, and ….let’s say I went on to studying (even though I probably web surfed a bit).

The Beginning

I have entered medical school. I am a medical student. Hmm...any way I phrase it, this new circumstance still seems weird. I'm sure shortly it will be very clearly my reality.


The purpose of this blog:
1) to reflect...... Reflection is a necessary step in learning. I plan to weave into my blog various "disciplines" or what have you (e.g. biology,medicine, anthropology, spirituality, nutrition, maybe a little farming...art, language.......afterall all things are interconnected.

"Reflect upon the inner realities of the universe, the secret wisdoms involved, the enigmas, the inter-relationships, the rules that govern all. For every part of the universe is connected with every other part by ties that are very powerful and admit of no imbalance, nor any slackening whatever." -'Abdu'l-Baha

2) to share.....provide others access to a medical student's experience for whomever it may be useful (my friends and family or a prospective med student)

3) to remember....if I don't give myself time (even with a busy med student schedule) to capture those really amazing epiphanies and stories and images borne of intense study, thought, dissection, service etc. I will likely be disappointed.

4) to provide joy.....I hope that through both humor and the exploration of the sacredness of medicine I will bring joy to those reading it.

5)________________ (surely I will find other purposes too )

Lastly I hope I don't make any informational errors or that my thoughts are taken for anything even approximating authority. I am a mere student....and an imperfect one. I am posting in a spirit of sharing not necessarily educating.


***NOTE***
Sacral- from Latin for "sacred," describes region of the vertebral column inferior to lumbar region and superior to coccyx
Humerus-from Latin "humer" meaning shoulder....a bone of the upper limb....but it's homophone humorous...well you know.